(stylish, signed copies available upon request)

STATUS

During the five-year period from 2009-2014, Timothy wrote a series of 34 nonfiction humor pieces for the Greensboro (N.C.) News & Record under the umbrella title of Such is Life. Written then for a newspaper audience, they are all being slightly edited to appeal to a more universal, timeless audience. In almost every case, frenetic copy editors corrupted his original subtitles, which he chooses now to retain. These and many more still under current construction will be published in a future collection under a new umbrella title of Life As Timothy.

PREVIEW

Life hurls curve balls at everyone – funny ones, once-in-a-lifetime ones, why-me ones, and head scratchers. Quoting from Ernest Hemingway’s The Snows of Kilimanjaro: “He knew at least twenty good stories from out there and he had never written one. Why?” Timothy decided to write and preserve his.

PUBLISHED

The Antifreeze Blues, April 19, 2009

Kites Must Be For Kids, May 31, 2009

Once in a Lifetime, Hopefully, August 2, 2009

A Daddy With No Name, September 27, 2009

Trying Times For Trypanophobes, November 22, 2009

Tombstones and Transmissions, February 7, 2010

A Matter of the Statute of Limitations, April 25, 2010

Better Legal Than Sorry, July 11, 2010

Always Check the Fine Print on Chocolate Before Eating, September 26, 2010

Pity the Gatekeepers Among Us, December 12, 2010

Perils of Elementary School Continued, January 9, 2011

A Scout is Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Hungry…, February 27, 2011

Don’t Count Your Tomatoes Before the Seeds Sprout, April 10, 2011

The Customer is Rarely Right These Days, May 22, 2011

The Ease of Getting Into Trouble, July 3, 2011

The Importance of Checking Gauges, August 14, 2011

Bragging Rights Require Volume Control, September 18, 2011

One Man’s Garbage, Another Man’s Clothes, November 2, 2011

Much to Say About Many Things, December 30, 2011

We Are Where We Live, February 10, 2012

And With Such Aggravating Regularity, April 6, 2012

The Proper Time to Disown a Child, June 1, 2012

A Few Men Are From Pluto, August 31, 2012

Testing the Limits Junior High School Style, November 23, 2012

Tangled Lights and Scrambled Bacon, January 18, 2013

The Rapid Descent From Acne to Skin Tags, April 19, 2013

Even in the Squirrel Kingdom, October 4, 2013

Could Have, Should Have, Would Have, November 1, 2013

One Fathom Shy of Hydrophobia, November 29, 2013

Wanted: One Qualified Interpreter of Dreams, December 27, 2013

A Real Kick in the Teeth This Time, January 24, 2014

She Loves Me; She Lovers Me Not, March 7, 2014

Surnames Come With No Guarantees, April 11, 2014

Daddies, Daughters, and Deputies, May 16, 2014

TO BE PUBLISHED

Beware the Ill-Mannered Dermatologist

FAN MAIL

“I didn’t realize there were so many ways to pronounce Pegram, and some funny ones, too. Great article! Made me thankful there is only one way to pronounce my last name.” — Becky, 2014

“Ah, Tim. Well done. Artful detail. Personal without crossing the line. Superbly relatable. Poignant. Lumps in my throat throughout, with a giggle at the end. Surely you have earned the grace you seek.” — Diane, 2014

“Thank you for giving an old iced-in lady something to laugh about on Friday. Your story about your sixth-grade experience was such fun to read.” — Jo Ann, 2014

“I read your piece in today’s News and Record and just had to let you know how much I enjoyed it. I think it’s because I finally found someone else who suffered the same nightmare I did discovering I didn’t have enough credits to get my college degree.” — Suzanne, 2013

“I have been meaning to write you ever since I read your hilarious article in the News & Record about the squirrels and your bird feeder. At least I now know I am not alone!” — Shirley, 2013

“And…so it is…such is life! I saved this to share with men that are here for couples’ counseling sessions; especially the premarital ones. Perhaps your story will save some marriages. Thanks for sharing it. — Linda, 2013

“Just wanted to let you know that I enjoyed your article on Random Thoughts. I would imagine we have all had these types of thoughts but failed to capture them in a way to recall later. Thanks for sharing!” — Tom 2011

“Hey Tim. Enjoyed your article on the hungry Scout Boys of Troop 981.” — George, 2011

“This article is so funny that I have been laughing so hard at the antics of you guys. Boy, you guys sure had fun growing up and working together.” — Dianne, 2010

“Really enjoyed your article in today’s paper! Took me back to the days when dad would bring home quail and rabbit from his hunting trips and trick us into eating it by saying it was chicken. You have a way with words!” — Betsy, 2010

“I so enjoyed your Oldsmobile article. Love your humor and rare take on keeping items while they are still useful. I so admire people that have the desire and ability to write.” — Mary Jane, 2010

“Well, I apologize for boring you with the minute details of my own childhood experience, but again, I wanted to let you know that it resonated a chord within my own mind. Your writing certainly captured the mood of those years, and I enjoyed taking that walk down memory lane. I hope to read more of your reflections on school life or on other subjects in the future.” — Tom, 2009